anxiety

7th April 2017

The next few weeks will see the release of both Myosphere and Seltrac. These will complete the first chapter of International Debris.

Both albums feature material that was started at the time I started Bathe in the Lights of Distant Cities, and pretty much everything released since then – Anxiety, Ambifauna, Thursday Morning Taylor Swift, Estuary, and my vaporwave material – has been part of the same recording sessions. There are many tracks which were initially intended for one album that appeared on a totally different one. Although all the records have individual themes and atmospheres, in my head they all occupy the same space. This level of overlap is totally unlike anything I’ve done before.

A couple of months after tidying up all these, I returned to work and pieced together TimewyrmMistral and Opaline, partially from unfinished ideas and partially from new material. In some ways these form a coda to those original sessions.

I’m incredibly satisfied with how all of this has come together. Those of you who’ve been following this blog for a while will know that for some time I went through a period of unhappiness with my output, roughly between (but not including) Canal Seven and cer. Although there are some wonderful finished albums from this period, it’s also an era in which I spent as much time restructuring as I did actually recording. Different versions of albums appeared and disappeared from various Bandcamps more times than I can remember, and there’s still a fair amount of material I’ve effectively disowned from this time.

Although I can’t stay that the creative process has been easy since starting ID – for someone with mental health problems like myself, I spend as much time loathing what I do as I do loving it – I’m incredibly happy with the state of my music since then. I’ve been able to return to a time with no expectations, simply making music I want to make, and all of the releases – particularly the main five albums and the Anxiety EP – are among my favourite things I’ve done. In many ways, my material as Ross Baker was a healing process,  and ID finds me fully recovered again (which also explains why cer sounds like a cross between the two, transitional album as it was).

Once I make a full start on new material then I think chapter 2 of ID will be on the way. It will probably be different to the current (and shortly-to-be-released) batch of records, although I’m sure it’ll still sound like me regardless.

Up and at them!

31st December 2015

2015, then. I won’t deny it’s been a difficult year. After a relatively good 2014 this year’s been rocky. I ended up in hospital with my mental health issues again. I ended up moving back in with my parents again. On the other hand, I’ve learned a lot about myself and am so much more confident going forward with my life, about who I am and what I want. I am more aware than ever of my weaknesses, what aspects of my life trigger off anxiety, and things that make my OCD flare up; equally I feel more capable of managing these things moving forward. I am hoping in 2016 I’ll be able to redress the balance in lifestyle and be able to start functioning better socially.

Musically it’s been a year of some real highs and proper lows. International Debris started properly at the start of the year, and since then I’ve put out a couple of full-length albums, including Ambifauna, one of my strongest records to date. That came out on Psychonavigation, probably my most high profile release, although one which received disappointingly little coverage or response. The first half of the year also saw the release of probably my most personal release to date, the Anxiety EP. More recently I’ve put out a number of vaporwave releases which have been very well received. I was also very proud to put out a tape on one of my favourite labels, ((Cave)) Recordings, with the second Winter of the World album (my collab with Noisesurfer​). I curated five episodes of Terminal​ Radio, and since then have been running a fortnightly show called Dream Machine, both on the brilliant Future Music FM​.

On the downside, I’ve had more doubts about my own music this year than any time in the past, and have seriously considered giving up all together. I recently tied together various odds and ends into an album called Remains (to be released next year on Aloe City Records​), and I am going to be making a fresh start in the new year, spending more time really getting to grips with the hardware I’ve acquired over the past couple of years and really learning how to use it rather than pissing around and using the bits that work. There are two other albums coming in 2016, ParkCity by Day on Beer Wizard​ in Jan/Feb, and Curtain Moon later in the year on a label still to be announced. There should also be a collection of lo-fi synth jams called Genderqueer Synth Diaries, to come out on the lovely Third Kind Records​ at some point.

Most of my best moments this year have involved Lucy and Rosey. Without them I wouldn’t have got through half of what I got through. They are both beautiful and wonderful.

Here’s to 2016. Happy new year to you all. 🙂